Coffee and Possession

I'm in my 15 mintue break from reading the Articles of Possession and i might as well check out my blog and try to write a few things just to take my mind off all the pressures of studying. I just tried out that new coffee shop near the university, its pretty okay...considering that they sell their latte's at 30 bucks. Admittedly,I'm "kuripot" and would rather buy that 12 oz. of brewed coffee at Dunkin Donuts for P30 than splurge on a tiny cup of latte at a posh coffee shop hehe Throw in a couple of donuts and I'm yours 'til eternity. I tried to limit my caffeine intake a few months ago when i started having migraine attacks in the middle of our Sales class (I'm still not sure if it was the coffee or the teacher who was giving me the headaches =P ), and started drinking decaffeinated peppermint tea during my mid-afternoon breaks. It worked for several days, but then, my addiction to coffee overpowered my will to cut it off my system. Simply put, I'm back to guzzling coffee. It's such a bore trying to figure out the Rights of a Possessor in Good Faith without a big mug of that steaming, dark brew in front of you, giving your brain cells a few kicks to get you back on track.Time's up...My beloved Paras is waiting for me with his pages wide open to Chapter 3 of Possession...Ta ta!

21 Going 50

dont know bout this age thing but as far as me is concerned... i may be young but i definitely think old. I'm usually getting these you-sound-like-a-gazillion-year-old-spinster-that-i-feel-like-im-with-my-grandma-who's-suffering-from-PMS reaction when i get all cranky and starts ignoring everybody. Can't i be crazy for once?People are so engrossed with how terribly "bad" a person can be that the moment they catch you in your furious state, you are brandished as an A-1 Bitch to the nth power. Can't help it if i was already regarded as a "grown-up" when i was five. I've never been a toddler, maybe its because i was already screaming "yudiputa" when i was coming out of my mom's womb....=) People has this wrong notion that im too cynical,but i never was and never will be. Subconciously, i try to be good. Though i can't seem to get it right and end up bungling my moment of "holiness". Too bad i can't imagine myself batting my eyelashes and flashing everyone my toothy smile...I'd rather end up a spinster than look like a pathetic evil drag queen who's trying too hard to please everybody.

WILL NOT, CAN NOT, OUGHT NOT

If I do something that is not in conformity with the norms of the strait-laced virgins of the society, will I be considered as a deviant? For the liberal minds, I may sound too prude to be real, but the mere thought of approaching my unrequited love to engage him in an intellectual (?) conversation is enough to make me cringe and scream SLUT! SLUT! SLUT! in the middle of the law library. For several mornings now I have fervently meditated while uttering my mantra *I'M HAPPY I'M LOVED I'M PRETTY* ...and though the nearness of him makes me think irrationally, I think I’m making progress because I'm half the blabbermouth that I used to be whenever he's around. I truly want to believe that he has also taken notice of me and has been throwing me furtive glances while I am deeply engrossed in reading the articles of Co-ownership and oblivious to the outside world. Yes- I'm a self-confessed fantasist, allow me this simple pleasure even if our closest thing to intimacy started and ended when he passed by me at the library, with his scent lingering, as I breathe deeply trying to catch a whiff.
But, as much as I want to succumb to the temptation to make the first move and approach him, I have vehemently decided that I am neither mistress material nor will I settle for an unreciprocated affection, thus I am over and done with this madness. And so, I wouldn’t, couldn’t, shouldn’t –
1. deliberately attract his attention
2. pretend that I don’t know he existed (my too obvious symptom that I’m smitten)
3. declare to the whole world that I have great legs compared to his lady friend (even if its true)
4. look for him the moment I step inside the library
5. avoid his gaze
6. hide when I see him in the mall with his “japorms” lady friend (even if I look like drab in my house clothes)
7. hold my breath when he passes by
8. misinterpret on purpose his actions/glances
9. drag my friends to the cafeteria for a cup of instant coffee every afternoon because I know he’s also there
10. whine to my friends on how blind he can be that he can’t single out an exquisite human being even if it hit him in the face.